The first thing I did this morning since I have yet to do laundry, is smell the t-shirt I had on when I spent the night at his house. It smelled just like him. As I sit here thinking of him, all I can think about is how he smells, and the way he makes me laugh. Who would have thought that this serious suit and tie guy was so hilarious. Man I miss the friendship and love he and I have for each other.
When G-Man travels, I worry and I can't sleep.
So I was up last night and I was on messenger with a friend of mine, Papi. His wife Freckles travels for work and is gone ALL the flippin time. So I asked him about how he deals, as well as when she is gone what is the first thing he misses about her. He said he misses the sex, the companionship, and the talking.
I would have to agree with my friend....
I wondered, how does he deal with being alone all the time. Cause some days I have no idea how to deal. I feel tested sometimes.
I confessed to Papi that I had been struggling with insecurities about my relationship with G-Man this past week. G-Man has been so preoccupied with work, preparing for his biz trip, and other things this past week that I felt a little ignored. I know if he was some regular guy, with a regular job, I would probably feel a bit smothered with all the time me and my regular guy spent together. But I am not dealing with regular here. And this is not your ordinary love relationship. But I was driving myself crazy. And I wasn't sure why.
Did I not trust G-Man? Of course I do! I was back to psycho analyzing every little thing, and forgetting to look at the big picture. This man that I am in a relationship with, makes time for me at least once a week, he returns every single email I send to him, he calls me just to hear my voice even though he knows how much I hate to talk on the phone. He thinks of me. I know the things I mentioned may seem very small to many, a non-factor, and an excuse to defend him, but these are big steps for a guy who once wrote to me in the getting to know phase that he is not big on communicating and romance. He is all about ROMANCE.
What Papi made me realize from our IM session is that every couples relationship is different. We communicate differently, we show our feeling differently. There is not a manual for relationships and love that anyone can follow. All the trust that G-Man has for me, I have to also have for him. There are ups and downs it will not be smooth sailing all the time. I needed to STOP. Just stop over thinking, stop wanting the easy.
I needed to stop ordering the side of psycho analyzing.
What I needed was an order of TRUST SUPER-SIZED.....
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