Broken...

How can a relationship be fixed? How can his betrayal, his huge fukin' mistake be righted? The love of my life blew it it! He really fucked this shit up. 

He CHEATED! Not just cheated, but cheated on me with a fat hood rat bitch. Got the bitch pregnant. The smartest man I know, did the dumbest thing in the world.

What I think is even more crazy is that I took him back. I loved him so much that I was okay with his mistake. I loved him more than his major fuck up. You ask me why would I? How could I? What is so amazing about him? He made me want to be a better me. I strived to be so much better than I was. What I do not understand is what in his DNA makeup made him turn into someone that did not want to be loved, not want the person that loved him more than life. Even after he asked me to stay. It has confused me, kept me up nights, stopped me from eating for over a year.

  He has pushed me away. Made me out to be the bady guy. I wasn't the one that had beer goggles on and fucked the bitch in the first place. I supported, comforted, empathized and every other nice amazing thing a woman in my situation would have NEVER FUKIN done! NEVER!

 He didn't deserve me.

But that did not matter because I love him. It sucks because he didn't even attempt to fix it. His words and actions were doing opposite things.

I love him.

But I am broken....