Shits n Giggles...

I always seem to elaborate on how amazing my G-Man is, and how much I love him. Lately though, he and I have been going through some tough shit the past few months.  I will just say the ultimate betrayal on his part.  And my fukin feelings are beyond hurt.

So where does it leave us now? Closer than I think we have ever been.

I don't really know why it happened or do I think he can give me a good enough answer on why either?

What is so crazy is that I never questioned how I felt.  The only thing I knew is that I fukin LOVED his ass more than anything.  I wanted to be with him.

 Nothing was logical about my decision.

So what I now question, is how do you know when love is enough.  Is love enough to keep people together even after one has betrayed the other.

I consider myself to be a smart girl until I fell in love with this man.

Is love ever logical.  Is there a happy medium between love and logic to where decisions that are made are right for someone's mind, body, and soul. I sometimes question myself, did I make the right decision. Did I suffer through this rough time, just to say I can't handle this after a few months.

I am not sure of the future.  But I am sure that our love story is not close to be over.  I plan on enjoying every day he and I have together.

Relationships can't always be shits and giggles, but it sure is a fun adventure.....

Black Hole of BLISS....

Growing up I was told there is a perfect man out there for me, my prince, my knight and shinning armor. Really? Is there?

As a little girl I totally thought my prince was out there.  My teens, I still believed it, but tweeked my perception just a bit.  I figured I had to date a few frogs before I found my prince. My adult years, I completely gave up.  I figured I would just date until I found someone I could stand.

Wow, am I really that hard to get along with.  No one, I could stand.

I give up!

I gave up.

Then one day I found my perfect man, or should I say he found me.  He is tall, he is handsome, he was sweet, and his ass had a job!!

Here I am in this love fog. I am so caught up I don't even recognize myself anymore.  This dude makes me smile, he gives me butterflies, and fucks me like no other. Woo, how can shit be so awesome for me, right?

Thing is, he does all this and I don't ever see him. He travels constantly, and he is a workaholic. How the hell did I fall in love with a guy that is never here.  He forgets anniversary's, he forgets birthdays, but when I least expect it he does something that may seem insignificant but it is a fuckin big ass deal to me.

I never thought my prince would be this amazing guy, who is a workaholic, never home, and oh a horrible communicator.

Since our relationship has imperfections, does that mean I should give up this love to search for perfection.  Who made up this crazy rule, story that relationships have to be this perfect little shit where everything is alway going the right way.  If it is always perfect I am on edge waiting on the other shoe to drop.  Which usually means crazy heart break.

I never thought I would desire the imperfections, it is kind of like a black hole of BLISS.....